2009.. January..

so 2009 is here without much fanfare.. the new year came and went in a quiet hotel on Catba Island, somewhere in Halong Bay.. how I wish I was back there again.. sometimes things in life just make you wish that you had a simple, carefree life instead, that even if it means not being able to afford the luxuries in life, you'd take it, no questions asked..

so well, I suppose you figure that the start of 2009 isn't exactly fantastic, that the first two weeks back at work has been.. demoralizing to say the least.. not the kids, they're great, I think, at least for now, but other things that have been happening..

busy as usual, maybe because I can't prioritize what needs to be done first, but well, that's really not in me.. just somehow always seem to want to give my all in all that has to be done, and that really, can be a weakness sometimes.. sometimes.. when things seem to overwhelm you and you just wish you would take a step back and decide that certain things perhaps aren't that worth doing after all..

I realise I do miss being in a classroom, standing there in front of the 20 or so who look expectantly at you, hoping that you perform miracles for them.. I'm sorry, but I'm no miracle worker, I do only what I can and I know I do have my own inadequacies which I try to make up for in other ways.. But the feeling of being back there, of seeing some of them finally seeing the light.. I guess that's what keeps you going, that's what's keeping me going at the moment..

And of course, training has been enjoyable thus far, though there's still so much more that needs to be done to get them ready by March/April.. But that's another thing altogether.. let's just hope that the time and effort put in will reap results..

As usual, I've gone on about everything and anything, without divulging much, but guess that's the way it is, that putting in words what you feel is comforting, yet you don't want to get into trouble, or more trouble than you already are in.. oh well, life's not great, could be better, but could be a lot worse too.. so yeah, press on, for those whose future seems not so bright.. for though it may not be that bright, it perhaps is already brighter than where you have come from, and for that, be thankful..